Do Not Be Afraid

I have been in a bible study on the book of Esther by Beth Moore. When I first joined I was a little skeptical. How much am I really going to get out of it? The work books are too homeworky and therefore just another to do item verses really taking the time. It is going to be too forced feeling. It's nothing I have not heard. Too superficial. I can keep going with my negative thoughts ;) However, it has been just the opposite! It has been amazing to see how the Lord has used this Bible study, learning His word, to specifically speak into my life. For example, I have been struggling with different fears lately. I had someone tell me that they would just be so afraid to miss an opportunity. I have been thinking about that. My fear is not that I will miss the opportunity but that I will give up on the opportunity. That I will give up on the path the Lord has set for me and miss the destiny He has for me. If the path is too hard does that mean it is not of God? No. As I have been reading scripture God has shown me quite the opposite. These fears have surfaced in dealing with the whole adoption process. It has been such a journey and so many decision need to be made along the way. God does not spell it out but gently guides and at the same time allows us to make our own choice. The same was true with Esther. She was queen and her people (the Jews) were all going to be killed. Mordecai (the one who raised her and her cousin) insisted she go before the King. This was not a small request, "any man or woman who approaches the King...without being summoned the king has but one law:that he be put to death"(Esther4:11). She was left with a choice, to say she could not or to go before the King and risk being killed. At first she said she could not and Mordecai's words were, "For if you remain silent at this time, relief and deliverance for the Jews will arise from another place, but you and your father's family will perish. And who knows but that you have come to royal position for such a time as this?"(Esther4:14). This was it! What if I said no to the calling He has for me. How do you know when you are in the middle of it? "We were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of Him who works everything in conformity with the purpose of His will" (Eph. 1:11). In this I saw my fear. My fear is my choice...of me making the wrong choice. However, I also saw that it could be my fear that causes me to make the wrong choice. My fear can cause me to cower from His calling. And that is exactly what Satan wants to use against me. In our study Beth spoke on fear and said that the most frequent command in the bible is "Do not be afraid". I am confident I am were I am supposed to be and I need to remind myself of that. Satan can easily coax my fears and tell me this is not working; you can make it happen this route; this path worked for so and so it is what you should have done; you have not handled things correctly that is why you have these set backs; there is no sign of God's blessing; where is God? He is not in this!; Satan's shouts can bog me down but God's whispers restore in me the courage and strength to make the right choice. "Esther's superficial life was about to be shattered, and a woman much deeper than her skin was about to be unearthed...As painful as the process may be, that which shatters our superficiality also shatters the fetters of our fragility and frees us to walk with dignity and might to our destinies" (Beth Moore, 90). I cannot let the fear of missing God's calling strike me because, "for God's gifts and his call are irrevocable" (Rom. 11:29). I know I am where I am supposed to be. And right now I stand secure in knowing that if I turned from this journey I would be disobeying God's call. And just because the path is long and difficult does not mean it is not the path of God and that I need to drop it and seek out other opportunity. "In the times of greatest struggle when you make the Godward decision over convenience, earthly comfort, or carnal pleasure, you too have come to a critical moment in the fulfillment of your destiny. A defining moment. A war is being waged over your head in the unseen realm, and a great cloud of witnesses is cheering you on" (Beth Moore, 98). As Beth pointed out, strength comes from muscle and muscle developes with a workout. This is not only true physically but also spiritually. "If people around us helped us avoid every possible unpleasantry, fixed every hangnail, and anesthetized every headache for us, we'd quit learning how to deal with difficulty. We'd forget how to cope and we'd crush under the least inconvenience" (Beth, 90). God's giving me a good workout right now! It reminds me of my first cross country race. I was a freshman in high school. Had hardly trained and set out on my first 3 mile race. The first 2 miles I was going strong (did not know about pacing myself yet) and by the time I hit the giant hill in the 3rd mile I was dying. I fell way, way behind and came jogging in dead last! I was exhausted and humiliated but I did not give up. At the finish line people were cheering for me (which only made it more humiliating) but when I crossed the line I saw my father there and he just stood silent, smiling in his white suite shirt from work. He hugged me and I broke down sobbing getting sweat and black mascara all over him:) That's kinda of how I feel now. Exhausted but I know I cannot give up. And at the end of that finish line I hope to see my heavenly father smiling at me, saying "Well done, good and faithful servant!" (Matthew 25:21).